Sometimes: My Life Lacks “Color”

However, it can still have much beauty if I look closely enough.

It’s been rough the past couple weeks, hence the lack of posts during that time period. It has not gotten any easier. Frankly, I am not sure what to do.

You see, I have a brain tumor. They think I was born with it. I had been doing pretty darn good for well over a year, but this year my “symptoms” have been slowly increases again. It resulted in an episode last night. All I can say is what I am trying to say and what others *think* I am talking about are two completely different things. It is very frustrating. Perhaps a neurologist could explain it to you. What I CAN tell you are people REALLY think they know what I am talking about and get quite angry with me when I keep trying to explain it. The only reason i know it’s not coming out right is their responses make no sense to to what I am trying to convey. I know something …broke..between my brain and my mouth.

It’s a horrible feeling to have a roomful of people convinced they know what your talking about and wondering why you keep insisting that is not what your talking about…. I would write more…but I don’t have time. I just know, I hate this.

It’s hard to find the beauty right now. I’ll just have to look closer.

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