Peace will come

A Poem that makes one think. A cry for peace amid the broken hearts of a desperate heart.


Peace will come

A Poem by Coyote Poetry

Peace will come

My child, don’t you cry. War is near and life is so hard.
Tomorrow may come and a new day where the sun shall shine upon a world where
men seek healing over death. Kindness over hate. concern over greed.
My children. Your Father’s world is blood red with with hate and separation.
I pray to the sea, the great lakes and the land.
Please teach this world.
Every child is part of this world.
Every life had value.
Gun and bombs are not tools of peace.

My child, please forgive me. Like my father. I allowed the world to become bloody with hate.
A worthless life is allowing this world to fall to chaos. Today I sing to you.

Sweet peace, kind peace.
Where are you?
If we don’t seek peaceful solution and we leave the child with…

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Finding that Game: The Frustrations of current MMORPGs and a Solution

(From my guild page!)

We all remember those glory days. How much work it took to accomplish something in a game like Ever Quest. That feeling of accomplishment one got. Not because it was given to us, but because we took risks and won it for ourselves! It was thoughts such as this that drew us back to that Old School world of EverQuest and to bring CrossGuard to RageFire. We wanted that feeling of accomplishment and growth we had been unable to find anywhere else for a long time.

(*Note* If you are not a big reader, skip to the end for handy bullet points)


It was quite an enjoyable time on RageFire. Then, Phinigel came on the horizon. A server that promised so much, created a ton of excitement, and then left us with the crumbled remains of a great idea that failed to come to fruition. While one can not blame DB games for every single failing we had to deal with as a guild, it was something that affected us greatly.

I, for one, lost much of my drive when they announced EQ Next was canceled. Why? because so many of us had been drawn back to the original EQ just because we were actually waiting for EQ Next. Now, we all know real life always adds to the stress of running a guild and keeping things positive, fresh, and a good experience for its members. The disappointment people felt in the game along with the usual real life turmoils that can occur led to our guild coasting for quite awhile. No direction. Just a vague wish and thought “I really liked it here. I wish we could get that back!”

Well, I am tired of coasting. Tired of wishing for that next great game to get lost in. To experience this great community as we play and grow. Guys, I freaking miss you. I know we chit chat here and there in texts, private messages, FB, and even on Discord. But, I want to play with you. I want to argue over strats, how to handle loot (reasonably!), and I want to do it in a game that will challenge us.


Because of this, I’ve been talking with some of my officers: Ecksesive, Maverix, Ruez, and a few people I’ve gotten to know well since this past summer. While we can not choose a game that will make everyone happy, there does seem a general interest in the upcoming Crow Fall. I’ve looked it over. Watched my videos. Been a good little GL and tried to see how this game can bring us back from our scattered gaming into a team that can laugh, play, and be a little crazy together again.

So, without further ado…I need YOU to join with us! If you are reading this, then it is likely you already know enough about our philosophy to know…we are your guild home. Let’s show Crow Fall what we are made of. Whether you just want to “do your job” and stick to the outer realms of this game, engage in guild v/s guild PVP, or go all the way to player run monarchies, we will welcome you. Be it player, raider, hardcore PVPer, or a person interested in being a part of the leadership, you will have no problem finding your place among us. Because we are CrossGuard and we are your guild.

Bullet Points

1. The Glory days are great to think about, but not always so easy to relive.

2. EQ Progression servers were fun for over a year, but mistakes were made and interest lost when DB Games announced the cancellation of EQ Next

3. Guild has been coasting since the summer and the community has been missing vital and necessary interaction and activities in order to help tie them together again.

4. Problem-solving mode engaged and “Call to arms” with the leadership knowing it’s time to get back up again

5. Games to look towards; Hero Song (Stepping Stone), Crow Fall (Major Upcoming game), and COE (Long term 2+ years)

6. While not specified above, CrossGuard has a set activity schedule with others playing various times of the night and day. These times are as follows:

Tuesday 8PM EST Time – End 11PM EST

Thursday 8PM EST Time – END 11PM EST

Saturday 7PM EST Time – END no earlier than 11PM EST.

(Credit for bullet point idea given to Ecksesive)


5 Paragraphs: Why I would Never tell a Lie

Oh! There it is. I went and did it. I’ve called shots, haven’t I? The proverbial gauntlet has been tossed to the floor at the feet of some who think this is an impossible task. You hear about how “Everyone lies” or “It’s just a white lie”. I’m here to tell you that, my dear reader, is crap. It’s a load of bull. Not everyone lies. I’m not talking about being misinformed or wrong. -And just to be perfectly clear (look it up!); a lie is a  false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood. … an inaccurate or false statement; a falsehood. 4. the charge or accusation of telling a lie: He flung the lie back at his accusers.- So, why won’t I lie?

The first reason is a selfish reason. I am human. Just because I will not purposely lead people on with false information or half truths does not mean I always do so with selflessness. Hiding the truth has caused me a great deal of panic and worry when I was a very young kid. It does not take much for me to begin spiraling down so badly I become outright suicidal. I can not even stand it when I realize I was wrong or that I accidently gave out the wrong information. I must make it right. It’s nearly a physical sensation for me because it has such a strong effect on me. So, guess what..I avoid it.

Panic aside, I’ve found lying is simply not necessary. Did you know that if you do not wish someone to not know about something you could simply…not tell them? Why yes, the art of keeping one’s mouth shut seems to be a lost skill. Even Jesus kept his mouth shut at times. Not everyone needs to know what you know. Just as we wait to share certain things with our children, that guy down the road may not be ready to hear what you have to say. Heck, he may never be ready. Not revealing something immediately can be done with love and compassion.

As I have grown as a person, my original reasons for always telling the truth faded away, and I began doing it because I felt it was the right thing to do! Lying never seemed to serve a better purpose than simply knowing how to handle to truth. The less you allow lies to enter your life, the less you have to grapple with the consequences of the truth making the light of day. It always does, eventually.

The truth is not meant to hurt others. If it hurts, you can usually (if not always) trace it back to a lie. This means it was actually the lie that harmed and the truth is the act of scouring the wound. It’s a painful, but necessary cleaning of the air. I know we do not live in a perfect world and there will always be those that justify lying, but is it really worth it? One can solve a problem without resorting to deception, after all. So, whatever motivation you need to start this new practice, take it on! For me, it started out as self-protection. But, now I’ve learned the value of truth telling. You can as well.

5 Paragraphs: A Crazy Fear

I have the most ridiculous of fears. A select few know of my discomfort, though I truly doubt they comprehend that each and every day I must face this fear and overcome it simply so I can take care of what everyone I know considers to be a regular routine. It’s not a fear of spiders, snakes, or enclosed spaces.It’s not even the fear of stuff being out of place, germs, or strangers. I have a fear of bathrooms.

These 5 paragraphs are not a story, this is my daily life. I could not tell you the exact moment I began being fearful in bathrooms, but I can look back and see it started when I lived beachside. Pretty sure I was a young teenager. It is also when my nightmares began, and if I examine them in the light of day, there is always a bathroom. It’s also always the bathroom from beachside in those awful dreams.

It is not something I enjoy admitting to. In fact, I find it rather embarrassing. While I’ve had some joke and say “I fear gas station bathrooms!” they do not fully comprehend the struggle. It’s not just bathrooms at the gas station. Or public bathrooms. It is not the discomfort of evacuating my bowels at someone’s home. It is every single bathroom I have even been in, including the ones at my house.

Over the years the dreams finally faded to almost nothing. This was not a quick thing and I could not tell you what it was that helped me stop experiencing them. It’s as much a mystery to me as to why bathrooms are a source of anxiety for me. Thankfully, my fears have gone down along with the fading of those terrifying nightmares. While I could never willingly linger in a bathroom no matter what, I’m not usually grappling with the feeling I am about to be hurt badly and I must get out fast as I can.

So, laugh if you will. Go ahead and think it’s weird and/or crazy. It’s what I deal with every day of my life. I know I am not the only one with a struggle that makes no sense on the surface. I am hoping that by my putting this out there, someone else will find…you are not alone. You are not the only one living with a fear they can not really explain away.

Until the next one,


5 Paragraphs: It Could’ve Been…

It could’ve been worse. Hurricane Matthew rolled into Brevard County like a fleet of semis racing in random spurts uncaring of the damage they inflicted as they revved up those modified jet engines and wrecked havoc on the huddled homes of my friends and family. Those of us on Stockton St. suffered high winds, falling trees, and loss of power. While we are still making some repairs, it really could’ve been so much worse.

It was a few hours before the actual storm hit that the first spurts of winds began tearing past the trees and buildings of our little group of neighborly friends. We had everything prepared best we could. Our house is raised, so I was not concerned about flooding. We are also nestled nicely between other homes. My only true concern once we had the necessary emergency supplies was the trees in the back yard. Would they hold up the high, gusting winds Matthew was already beginning to pelt us with? The wind seemed like a breathing, malevolent entity that night. Hissing and slamming its way between our homes with a vigor that made sleep impossible for me, but nothing got through the walls and windows of our home. It could’ve been worse.

The trees did not stand a chance and the first one fell before the sun even set that night. The worst had not even gotten to us and already I had the smashed pieces of wooden stairs dangling on my back porch. It was then we decided; “Yep, let’s bring the bedding and electronics to the center of the house!” Not only did we have our own household members of 5 people, we hunkered in for the night in a crowded room with our friends and daughter who had come to weather the storm with us. We also had our first official rescue, an injured dog bitten at his first shelter of choice. It was well before dawn by the time we had a total of 3 full sized trees and 1 small one pushed down along the back fence due to the high winds. However, it was only that 1st one that came close to actually threatening to damage our home. It could’ve been worse.

It was as if Matthew made a date and was determined to be right on time when a final gust of hellishly loud wind whipped its way around our neighborhood at 5am and tore the transformer apart. It was so fast. That rush, the pop…and Whoosh…the power was finally defeated. We had made it right until the end. Just when I thought “Wow, we might actually make it without losing power!”. Yep, Matthew had the last laugh. For 3 days we went without the luxury of electricity. But, it could’ve been so much worse.

When I see all the heart-rending damage Matthew did in other areas, I can not help but feel blessed. It was as if the hand of God sheltered us and kept us safe. I do not care if you believe in God or not. Believe in what you will, but I experienced such an outpouring of both neighborly and church membership love and help, I can not help but be moved into thinking that we had Divine protection. Sure, the winds tore at us, we lost some trees, and our power was out for 3 days, but we all know, quite well…it could’ve been worse!

5 Paragraphs: Excerpts from the Dungeon (Fiction Based on the Secret World)

It was an easy run from the rusty, packed sands of the Wabanaki camp as we followed our guide, Zenoren. It only took a few moments before we found another sandy clearing with just a smattering of wilting bushes. I eyed the area carefully while our guide explained this is where Batab Crusher, the Dark House sorcerer, held sway and that in order to achieve our goal of freeing the Wabanaki tribe from the terrors of Wayeb-xul we had to kill him first.

I shuffled in my new armor, a bit uncomfortable with my recent role as the tank. Our guide was well seasoned and had already ran us through several training exercises and was now insisting I begin the actual job of distracting enemies so our damage dealers could safely dispatch them without overtaxing our poor healer, who looked barely old enough to be out of high school. But, I knew this fight thanks to Zen and thudded my way inelegantly to the waiting bushes where I knew Batab was sure to appear.

I expected this to go as smoothly as the training exercises and even Zen had assured, “This will be easy, you got this. Stop worrying so damn much!” With a shrug,  I bellowed out my challenge and Batab dutifully responded. I blinked up, surprised at how big this guy was close up. So much for being some regular human with too much power on their hands- rather like myself – distracted by the stray thought, I fumbled my attack only to find our esteemed Zen on his back. Dead. Just like that, our most experienced comrade had been dispatched with ease and I found myself shouting “What the hell happened?!” because, despite my distraction, he should have easily side-stepped this guy. “My bad!” came his echoing reply. Damn, he is lucky the bees keep bringing us back -Still, have not figured out how that occurred- “I was trying to misdirect him back to you and accidently directed it onto myself”.

To be honest, I did not really understand what he was talking about. I just knew it had not happened before and now he was useless to me until Batab was defeated because the bees had this rule – No coming back until a bad guy was defeated if it had a certain amount of power – I could not tell you if this was because the level of power disrupted their ability on us, but it amounted to the same thing. We had to kill this guy, or die trying, before Zen could reincorporate. With a grunt, I slammed my hammer to the ground and Batab jerked his head back towards me. He was eerily silent as he began to cast a spell in my direction and I flicked on a shield to protect me just enough that Miez could heal me through the attack. My mind filled with what could only be termed as a chaotic rumble, but a part of me somehow knew what to do with it, and the silent Batab was no longer quite so silent as the two damage dealers still alive, Tandora and Song, tore into him with vigor and quickly ended his rage in a flurry of motion as I held him pinned to the ground with only the focus of my thoughts channeled through a chaos charm.

It was only a matter of minutes before the entire fight was over, even from the time I first issued my challenge. Zen was back, dusting off his white suit, looking for all the world as if he stepped off the streets of London from a dance club. I shook my head as I looked around to take in my motley group, but Zen was already halfway to our next destination and I slapped my over-sized hammer to my back and yelled “Come on you guys!” and took off for the next battle.