February. The month for love. Valentine’s Day! Ah, the romance ❤ While I plan on loving all year long (every year!), I thought I would make this month, February, a focus on posting loving and joyful posts. With all the political uproar going on, I think we could all use that. A little more love. For today, I will focus on the love of my life. No, I will not be writing about God, though “The Creator of All” is definitely an all pervading force and something I should be focusing on each and every day. No, this is not a post about the highest spiritual love. This post is about my soulmate. My forever guy. My husband. This is a man who stands by me, has been a wonderful father, and who encourages me to pursue the things I think will bring me joy.
Over the years, we have had some gawd awful tough times that have strained our marriage to the point I honestly do not know why it did not break. Perhaps it was simple stubbornness on my part. I simply do not give up. But, I can not disregard the fact that my husband has stayed with me even when he believed I had done him wrong. To say there have been misunderstandings in the middle years would be a gross understatement. We have been beset by lies, deep pain, and human failings in our past. But one occurrence alone tells you my husband was in it “for better or for worse”. It was so many years ago and has a bittersweet humor to it, but I will never forget the day he threw a phone book in my direction demanding I find a divorce lawyer, but that I could not move out because “I can not live without you”. Even in the midst of all our pain, he made it clear he loved me.
Here we are, a couple that has suffered so much. Some of which was our own fault, and some of which were because of malicious lies and actions of others. Despite our own marital problems we fought over-faded now- I never once doubted my husband’s ability to be a good father. We first met when I already had a daughter. She was about 2 years old. He has been her daddy ever since and she is almost 23. When our eldest son was born and he did not sleep through the night until after he was 4, my husband would regularly bounce him on his knee while he played games on the computer, allowing me to get some rest. To this day, my husband is an active and loving parent to all our children. Seriously, nothing is sexier to me than my husband just being a dad or “taking care of business” when it comes to caring and meeting the needs of our family.
Now, I am not telling you we always agree. That we do not fight these days. Plenty of times where we bump heads. I have a fiery personality and he tends to just…let things flow. I feel a strong need to go “do something” with my life. To stretch myself. To learn and grow. I’ve tried a thousand different things over the years and he has never once told me I was stupid for trying. He never once discouraged me from making an attempt. Even after failing to follow through on quite a few of them. When I come up with “this idea” or “that thing” we could try, he does not stop me. Yes, I am sure there are times he quietly thinks to himself “This is not going to work”, but he allows me to try without trying to bring me down. He supports my efforts to better myself in a myriad of ways. I am grateful for that!
My husband truly is a gift from God. He may not be perfect. He may not have made the best choices, but neither have I. Not only did he stay when he had the easy opportunity to leave, but he has been a wonderful father and provider. No only that, he has allowed me to be my own person. I know I’ve alluded to quite a bit of turmoil that had affected our marriage, but I have found myself more in love with my husband in recent years than in the first golden years – you know, before things got so messy and awful- that I have come to realize; I would do it all over again just so we could have what we have right now.